As I sit in the presence of God, I couldn’t help but cry for the journey ahead. It finally hit me that I can’t pray for an easy life while whispering in the same breath that I want to live a sold out life. “God keep me,” “God maintain me,” “God, give me courage,” but in the back of mind I’m asking him to not let it be too hard> I don’t want to be dirt poor and suffering for God to maintain me. I don’t want to have to be faced with the scenario of doing the right thing or loosing my job, in order for God to give me courage. I don’t want to experieng courage in that way. “Lord, help me to inspire a generation,” “make me a vessel of your glory.” “Give me a life that will leave a legacy,” “Let my light shine Lord.”
I realized that though I loved God and I wanted his blessings, I wasn’t ready to get it at the end of a fight. Especially one that would bruise me.
I am Desan Watson and this is my story.
From the womb, I shared myself. 7 months in a space couped up with my now best friend and always twin sister. I wish I could say that our childhood was normal, but that just wasn’t the reality. We had our equal share of laughter, love, suffering, abuse, recovery and re-adjusting. And though I’d love to start with my childhood, I feel it best to start from the present. Where I am now?
Well, let’s start with my exact location. Right now I am sitting on my bed typing what I know will one day become the pages of one of my published books. I am typing with a laptop that was given to me as a gift by a woman I would have never met if not for the divine positioning of God. Sitting here on a bed that I share with my mom, knowing that one day I will not only have my own bed, but so many options of rooms, that I may just sit in the kitchen to settle my indecisiveness. I have realized that somehow I am now understanding my purpose as if it was shown to me already. So here’s what I do know. I know that I am destined to be a Minister, A first lady of Ministry, A multiple best-selling author, life coach, websites holder, Worldwide Missionary. I know that God has called me to be in medicine, but I’ve realized that whenever I talk about my purpose and what I’m sure about, being a doctor does not come up. And this confuses me, because all this time it was one of the things on the top of my confident list. Well, I’m going to leave this right here. I am putting it in writing as a declaration that I trust that it will happen. I am putting the vision in writing. I believe that is the first step of preparing for the fire. Seeking the will of God. Written May 7, 2020
Desan Watson 